I just returned from beautiful Victoria BC after delivering Manager Essentials training to 10 awesome leaders.
This last two weeks have been a stretch for me and let me be honest (as I usually am)
I delivered 3 sessions in a week.
1. I was the keynote at a conference (Fuel your career)
2. I trained a group of mentors (Mentor Skills)
3. I facilitated and coached a group of leaders (Manager Essentials)
The imposter syndrome was in full force, your girl was dying inside, full panic attack, pass me the vodka – the whole bottle (wait up I don’t do alcohol anymore)
“Nicole, who the hell are you to be doing all this?’
“What if you forget what to say”
“What if you step out of your shoes?’ Well that happened to be careful what you focus on
“They won’t understand your accent”
To make it worse, I glanced at the title of the participants; Director, Executive Director, wait for it…Vice President.
Let me just quit this already, I will just NOT SHOW UP
Quit baby girl, there is still time to say no and walk away. This wasn’t my first rodeo I have been training and coaching for 14+ years. This time felt a little different, maybe because it was so much happening in the short period of time including packing and getting on a plane to a city I never visited before, maybe it was because little man was having one of his allergy encounters,
Let’s just call a thing a thing- maybe I thought this time around I WAS JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Unsure of what exactly it was, I charged on and decided to do something I have never done before… I said YES to all the things that made my knees buckle and my heart race.
The biggest one for me was:
I ventured out on my own to explore the beautiful city BC solo, yup I dropped my bags, jet-lagged, got on a tour bus and visited Burchard Gardens. Can I tell you? Magnificent! If that wasn’t all, I also explored downtown, dined in a restaurant 2 evenings in a row, that’s a first for me (no skip the dishes in my hotel room this time baby, your girl is going all out). Every time I would visit a province alone people would ask me. “How was it?’ My response “I don’t know, I just went for work”
What a missed opportunity!!
Here is what I learned over the last few weeks;
- I am my own rescue, I am responsible for creating my own experiences
- As long as I have prepared I will not fail, I can only learn
- Vice President is just a damn title – they are people too
- Growth happens in places of discomfort
- There is POWER in saying “YES” to things that make you uncomfortable. For me, the biggest one was exploring the city
For a long time, I’ll admit, I was waiting on someone else to validate me doing all these things.
I had a deep, intense craving — explore the places I visited — but instead of creating the experiences for myself? I placed all of the power into somebody else’s hands. Not fair.
What about talk about you:
Are you waiting for someone to validate you? Waiting for permission? Waiting for some miraculous perfect storm of circumstances to conspire before you are “allowed” to enjoy your life?
Your happiness is your personal responsibility. Nobody else’s.
If there’s something you want, it’s up to you to go get it.
Getting frustrated because other people aren’t “cooperating” with your vision of happiness… is a waste.
No hiding. No blaming. No waiting.
Create what you crave. say YES
This week I am challenging you to make it your week of YES, to the things you have wanted to do but have been afraid, take personal responsibility for your own growth and happiness.