Perhaps life’s most incredible adventure is getting to know yourself. It’s so sad that many of us are walking around with no real clue who we are. Worse, those of us who listen to our inner critic and believe the lies that it tells. This inner critic can make self-understanding look like self-indulgence. It can make self-care look selfish. It can put a negative spin on just about anything in your life, which is why it’s so essential that you learn to overcome it to live your truth.
Self-discovery might sound self-centred, but it’s at the root of everything you will do. You won’t be happy if you don’t know yourself because you will consistently pursue the wrong things. By living your truth, you are putting your best foot forward, which means the people in your life are getting the best of you too. It’s a personal journey, of course, but it’s one you will benefit significantly from the undertaking. To do so, you must break it all down. You have to shed layers that no longer serve you and add new layers that will. Ask yourself these two questions.
- What parts of your life don’t accurately reflect who you are now?
- What parts of your life damage your ability to be who you are?
These are essential questions that you need to ask because you can’t live your truth until you get to know yourself on the deepest possible level.
- Who are you?
- What do you want to be?
- What are you passionate about?
- Where does your personal power lie?
- Are you open to new experiences?
- Do you make yourself vulnerable when it’s appropriate to do so?
This isn’t something to avoid, and it shouldn’t be something you fear. It is something you should approach with compassion and seek with curiosity. Think of it as getting to know a new friend. It just so happens that you are that friend.
Get To Grips With Your Past
You can’t gain a deeper understanding of who you are until you unpack your past. It played a significant role in shaping you as you are now, for better or worse. We often carry trauma or old beliefs from those experiences, and it’s time to let go. You will make more conscious and mindful decisions now if you form a coherent story about your life as a whole. If you have a painful past, you need to address it before you can move forward. For example, if you were raised by a strict parent who punished harshly, you might be a guarded person who sees the world in strictly black and white terms. Uncertainty and pain follow us until we deal with them. Look at the source.
Differentiate
This is all about developing your sense of self as an independent person. You can’t fulfill your destiny until you find yourself. You have to differentiate yourself from the destructive and negative influences that simply do not serve you.
- Break from the destructive thought processes you have internalized.
- Separate the (negative) personality traits you absorbed from a parent or caretaker.
- Let go of the defences you built to adapt.
- Develop your own beliefs, values, and ideals.
What do you want? Really? Start getting comfortable with the idea that it’s okay to want things for yourself. It’s your life!
Personal Power
When you know what you want, you then have a challenge – to take control.
- Allow yourself space to experience the emotions you feel so that you can be rational when making decisions.
- Know your strength and talents
- Set goals and take action to make them happen.
- Lean into self-assertive and proactive behaviour.
- Your relationships should be equal, so always seek equality.
- Be open to new ideas, and don’t be afraid of constructive criticism.
- Take control and exercise your power over your conscious existence.
It’s important that you know yourself, so you can grow yourself.