A few weeks ago, I went to pick up a beautiful peach tree for my garden. When I entered the garden center, a lady struck up a conversation with me, telling me we didn’t need any more plants. We chuckled and kept bumping into each other during our shopping trip. Each time, we exchanged words and at one point, shared a hearty laugh. She told me about her beautiful 80-acre garden and how her Jamaican gardener didn’t always listen to her. I chuckled and told her I’m Jamaican too.
Later, as I packed my car, she was loading up her purchases. We had another brief conversation. As I drove off, I wondered why I hadn’t asked for her number. She seemed like my kind of friend—fun, with a warm, inviting personality, and like me, a bargain garden hunter. It made me think about how difficult it can be to make friends at this age. How could I have connected with her without seeming awkward?
It left me reflecting on you and how cultivating friendships can be challenging, especially for women over 40. Children seem to form friendships so easily—they meet someone new at the playground, and suddenly they’re best friends. But as we get older, it feels more complicated, doesn’t it? We worry about coming across as too forward or being misunderstood.
This got me thinking about the ways we can open ourselves up to new friendships and connections. Here are some thoughts to help you foster new connections:
Sometimes, life gets busy and we lose touch with friends. Take a moment to reach out to an old friend. A simple “hello” can reignite the bond. Also, be open to new connections. Attend social events or join clubs that interest you. Being open to meeting new people can lead to enriching friendships.
Friendships require effort. Regular check-ins, thoughtful gestures, and being present for your friends are key to maintaining strong connections. Don’t hesitate to lean on your friends for support. Whether it’s emotional or practical help, your friends can be your rock. And remember, friendship is a two-way street. Be there for your friends just as they are for you. Offering your support strengthens the bond.
To help you reflect on forming new friendships, here’s a simple exercise you can try:
- Identify Your Needs: Think about what you’re looking for in new friendships. What qualities do you value in a friend? What kind of support do you need?
- Consider Where to Meet New People: Reflect on places you can visit to meet like-minded individuals. Are there clubs, groups, or activities that align with your interests? Coffee shops, for instance, can be a great place to start.
- Examine Your Beliefs: Think about any beliefs that might be holding you back from forming new connections. Are there past experiences influencing your current mindset? For example, you might think, “I’m not lucky with female friendships.” Acknowledge these thoughts and consider how you can move past them.
- Be Open to New Experiences: Sometimes, friendships form in the most unexpected places. Be open to new experiences and conversations with people you might not typically approach. You might find that remote work or different weekend routines have changed where and how you meet new friends.
- Set an Intention: Make a conscious decision to be open to new friendships. Set an intention to connect with others and be genuine in your interactions.
And if you’re wondering how to approach a stranger without coming across as weird, creepy, or awkward, try starting with a simple compliment or a shared interest. It can be as easy as commenting on the book they’re reading or the coffee they’re drinking.