I have a confession to make. My name is Nicole A. Wright and I am a recovered Perfectionist. I wanted to be everything to everyone, strive for the greatest success without failing or looking stupid, constantly focus on achieving more, rather than appreciating the present. I thought, “if I can just be perfect, then I will be fulfilled and so will everyone around me.” In reality, perfectionism was draining my positive energy, straining my relationships and constraining my joy.
Today I was reminded of how much I struggled with the need to be perfect, it happened right after I had Joshua, I told myself I would be the perfect mom, I was in for the shock of my life! This colicky baby cried all night, wouldn’t sleep during the day, I was a hot mess, and he wouldn’t eat regular food like the other babies. I had laundry piled up. I had gain over 20lbs that I wasn’t losing because I had no system in place like the other moms around me seem to have. He wasn’t on a schedule like the books I had read said he should be and as if that wasn’t enough here is the cherry on the top, my lil guy decided nights were for crying and playing, yup you guess it- he wasn’t sleeping through the night. Every new mom’s worst nightmare (no pun intended). I was at my braking point
One day I broke down and cried for hours and stared at the crying baby in his crib and through our tears I realize he doesn’t care about all that crap, He just wanted to be held, he just needed his mommy as she was. So, I held my baby and realized that to him I WAS PERFECT with all my imperfections… the dirty laundry, the extra weight, the off-schedule feedings. I was missing all the precious moments too busy trying to be what others said I should be. I tried to look good to the others around me. I wanted people to think I had all together PERFECTLY!! Like the moms on TLC when all my baby need was ME.
Whether you are a mom, an auntie or like a mom to someone, I celebrate you! I hope that you take the opportunity to reflect on the privilege you’ve been granted to serve someone important other than yourself, love is service. I hope you remove the pressures of being perfect and accept the fact that perfection is an illusion. Know that you may not always have it all together and you may not always be right. Have an amazing day and continue to serve, expecting nothing. Because LOVE IS SERVICE